yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
