but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
