I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
