I feel like I'm in dance class right now
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
