physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
