Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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