I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
