I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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