He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
