i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
