walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
