I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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