have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
