Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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