He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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