That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize