What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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