in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
