btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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