My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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