Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize