Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
