Cold hands, warm shart.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
