I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
