This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
