I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
