She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
