Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
