someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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