Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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