so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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