yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
