Jerry, you need to find god
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
