I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
