you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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