Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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