glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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