He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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