The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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