We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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