i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
