dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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