I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i out mim tonsoeep
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