it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i think my cat just said my name.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
