Who did Billy Mays play for?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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