I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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