I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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