i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
