it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
