I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
