OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
