Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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