the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Randomize
