I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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