My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
