I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
