I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
